number 29

here’s a personal one

My wife, Banu, and I were married in 1994.  (It was September 3, not 4.  She knows what that means.)

I proposed to her in a less-than-inspiring way.  We were in Tennessee visiting my parents.  We had returned to the car after watching the Michael Keaton movie, My Life.  It is about a loving husband with a wife (played by Nicole Kidman) who is pregnant.  He finds out he has terminal cancer and will die before the baby is born.  There are several comedic moments, but still…

[at Bully Hill, Hammondsport, NY, 2010]

We had been discussing marriage, and my proposal was, “So are we going to do this?”

My romantic nature has improved since then, although that was a pretty low bar to set!

We are celebrating our 29th anniversary.  This one is extra special since we are preparing for a major life change.

We have never had any children.  It’s not because we couldn’t have them; we just didn’t want to.  We have never considered ourselves parent material.  We do like kids, but we wouldn’t want them around 24 hours a day.  Does that make us bad people?  I suppose being honest about it says something.  I think there are plenty of people who have no business being parents.

[Duncan, Aidan, and Ronan]

We have had a very distant second: dogs!  That includes two Shetland Sheepdogs, Duncan and Aidan, and now a Swiss Mountain Dog, Ronan.  You might notice we have given all of them two syllable names ending in the letter “n.”  And more importantly, they have all been Scottish names, a decision beginning with Duncan, since we were big fans of the TV show Highlander.  “I’m Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.”

And food!  Banu has taught me so much about those wonderful substances.  Perhaps the old saying is true.  The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  I’m continuing to make discoveries as she makes discoveries.  Microgreens and sardines are nutrient dense.  And I like both of them.

[Banu in the kitchen, where the magic happens]

I was introduced to couscous, lady thighs (a Turkish dish), and Buffalo wings.  (Actually, we discovered that together when we moved to western New York.)

And a thought we have often enjoyed and practiced:

“Marriage as a long conversation.  When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this woman into your old age?  Everything else in marriage is transitory, but the most time in the association belongs to conversation.” [from “Human, All Too Human” by Friedrich Nietzsche]

[at Cheekwood Gardens, Nashville, 2002]

To the love of my life…