There are many things I could share about Mom, but I want to begin with something I have mentioned numerous times to various people, and that is, words of wisdom imparted to [my sister] Kristen and me when we were kids.
[Kristen and I join Mom as we leave the restaurant. It was a windy day!]
Every now and then, one of them has found its way into a sermon of mine. Here is just a partial list—I stress, partial list:
“You and God make a majority.” Maybe you’ve heard that one.
Possibly you’ve heard this one, or a variation. If I were searching for something close by, she might say, “If it was a snake, it woulda bit you!”
I guarantee you haven’t heard these next ones. If I wanted to know “what?,” but instead said “Huh?”—once in a while she would trot this one out: “A pig says, ‘Huh.’ Pull his tail, and he says, ‘Uh, huh.’” Never found out the origin of that one.
And then, to convey a sense of exasperation, on very rare occasions, we could hear, “You make my butt want a cee-gar.” Not “cigar,” but “cee-gar.” As recently as last year, I did ask her where that came from, what it precisely means. She said she didn’t know. And by the way, that one has never appeared in a sermon!
One of her very favorite scriptures was Psalm 91. I also really love that one.
“You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust’” (vv. 1-2)
“You will not fear the terror of the night or the arrow that flies by day” (v. 5)
“He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone” (vv. 11-12)
Banu has spoken of this psalm as being appropriate for spiritual protection, for spiritual resilience.
When we were at an early age, Mom began teaching us the faith of Jesus Christ. We each were given a children’s version of the Bible; the King James. She had plenty of books to share. My favorite one was The Golden Bible for Children. I read the stories, but what I really liked were the pictures. (It was illustrated by Alice and Martin Provensen.)
Speaking of being little kids, both Kristen and I were adopted. I have to say I don’t ever remember being told I was adopted. It was just something I always knew. Apparently, our parents informed us of that at an extremely young age.
Years later, I came upon some books and documents Mom and Dad were given at the time. One of them, which was filled with cartoon images, was written for the child to explain adoption. I was reminded of the hoops they had to jump through during the process. And that’s a good thing!
[Here she is with our dog, Ronan]
Mom came from a large family in West Virginia. There were 8 brothers, all of them the oldest of the siblings. They were, in alphabetical order: Arnold, Elbin, Freeman, Hillard, John, Laco, Willard, and Windell. Windell is the last of the crew still with us.
The youngest were the 2 girls. Mom was the baby of the family. I think we might have visited her sister Mary, who passed away last year, the most often. She was married to Joe, and they had 3 kids: Sherry, David, and Alan.
During one of my visits to the rehab center, I asked her if she had any favorite classes or favorite teachers when she was in school. (By this time, her speech was becoming quite impaired, so I will paraphrase.) She mentioned a favorite teacher, Mrs. Simmons. She said she was nice, as was her husband, Mr. Simmons. They had no children. Mom said that led to the affection they had for the students.
She spoke of many caring things, but one she especially remembered were the cookouts they had at their house, which had a big yard. I asked if they had hamburgers and hot dogs. She said yes, but she really liked the steak! I’m just guessing, but I imagine requests for steak outnumbered the other two.
Before we left the subject of school, Mom claimed that she was always smarter than her sister Mary. Although, it was claimed by some that Mary was the better looking of the two. Not having seen them when they were young, I can’t really comment on that one.
A few days ago, I was on the phone with Uncle Windell. He mentioned the trouble Ida May would get them into. For example, when she got into fights (if I recall correctly, he said when she “picked” fights), he would have to stand up for her. There were other types of trouble, but that was the one he remembered most clearly.
As I already said, there are many things I could share. I’ll finish with two images, two events, that will stay with me forever.
My first year of college was at St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas. (After my freshman year, I transferred to MTSU.) [Middle Tennessee State University] But as we were getting ready to say goodbye, Mom burst into tears. Life would never be the same again. Her oldest—not to mention, her son—was going off to college. Of course, I returned for vacations, but that moment really hit her.
The second image in my mind concerns the news of the announcement that Banu and I were planning to get married. This was during Christmas break in 1993. As we were preparing to go back to seminary in Philadelphia, she prayed with us. Aside from praying for safe travels, she told the Lord that Banu was an answer to prayer. That really hit me.
[At twelve years old]
On that note, I’ll close with words from the apostle Paul to the Thessalonians. “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ… [And] may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in all ways. The Lord be with all of you” (2 Th 3:5,16).
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